“
gotta hot nut
for that six-top on seven, carbon! It’s been fired for ten fucking minutos,
pinche Tortuga. What? You don’t got your meez together, aesino? Get that shit
in the window, you seso de pollo pinche grill man – throw it in the fucking
jukebox if you have to. The rest of the order my hand! And don’t forget to give
it a wipe, and some mota, and a squirt of that red jiz on the way out, I got
shit hanging out here and you’re falling in the fucking weeds!”
This quote is how Bourdain ends one of his
later chapters. It was one of my favorite because, as someone who is interested
in language, it’s pretty funny to think about how strange the roots of kitchen
jargon really are. French terminology, because France invented fine dining.
Spanish….somehow the native tongue of all affordable, yet capable kitchen labor.
My friend Emerson once told me, (when
explaining that, after 2 consecutive months of 70 hour weeks he was finally
granted a few days off) “I can’t keep this shit up! I am not a fucking
Dominican, I am a human-being, goddamnit!”
He went on to show me pictures in his cell
phone of one of his coworker’s arms. Apparently, and entire pot of boiling
sauce spilled on his arm, and it was all bubbled up like the toxic avenger.
Apparently, the man poured a beer on it, wrapped a shirt around it, finished
out service, and didn’t miss a minute of work that day or ever.
Interestingly, it was the ending of this
book that prompted me to get a hold of my friend Emerson this past weekend.
Bourdain ends on a sort of romanticized vision of him working at his station,
arranging his mis en place, hiding kitchen towels from other chefs, chopping
herbs for garnish.
As I explained how much I enjoyed the book
to my friend, he mentioned, “Dude, I have 10 lbs of Wagyu short ribs that need
to be cooked….want to do some real cooking tonight?” So, just like that, we
decided to do some Bourdain inspired cooking, and it was awesome.
(Above) Braised Wagyu short rib and fall veg., barley risotto, mixed greens, and spicy green tomato compote. It didn't suck
